When Christmas Hurts - Grieving Over the Holidays
If you've been following along on my doula journey, you may know that I lost my dad quite suddenly in May of this year. This will be the first Christmas without him, and to say the past month has been difficult is an understatement. This may be an all-to familiar feeling for many of you reading this blog, and I want you to know that I see you, I feel you and I am holding space for you.
This time of year should be beautiful right? I have a charismatic two year old, newly married and expecting our second addition in just a couple short months. But, the hustle and bustle of the holidays sometimes leaves me feeling really alone - and that's okay.
If you know someone that has lost a parent, a child, a friend - please be kind to them this season. Remember that although Christmas is an incredible time of year for most people and you have EVERY right to cherish that, not everyone is in the spirit all the time. Kindness goes a long way. The people in your life who are hurting don't always want to talk about their loss - what they need is a reminder that you love and appreciate them and that you haven't forgotten they are suffering.
There is a quote that says, "people are fighting a battle you know nothing about, be kind always." This message rings clear in my mind every single day. This has been especially important in my role as a doula. Being aware and truly present allows me to focus on the language I use in my every day conversations. Not only does it remind me that parents have suffered tremendous loss before having their child, it encourages me to focus on the control that families DO have in their pregnancy journey - knowledge! If nothing else, I get to help prepare mothers and fathers to-be for the most incredible adventure and I am so grateful to be a part of that.
This Christmas season, please don't hesitate to reach out for support (and not just for the doula kind). My loss is different from yours, but my empathy isn't, and there is a lot of power in that.
The Doula Tree